When life throws you one of its best punches

Let me take you to a period when my ex-husband and I were entering the deepest crisis in our marriage ever experienced.

We were talking.

We did our very best to listening & understanding one another.

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We tried to find possible solutions.

I was still convinced we would survive this deep storm in the end somehow.

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Though my reality was totally shaken upside down.

There was no clarity.

I was literally surviving.

And yes, I cried like crazy.

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Some of you know my father has been a painter as well.

He used oil though and drew models with charcoal.

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I sent my father sketches of the process.

I shared versions of how I could move on.

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Sensing for that one outcome of which I felt, ‘yes, that’s my way to go’.

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In October I firmly decided the title to be ‘When life throws you one of its best punches’.

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Well-chosen, I thought, appropriate for sure.

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I also decided how to finish the painting.

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My father was dealing with health issues of which I knew, he needed time for himself to process.

On another level, I was dealing with what happened in my own life.

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Then at the end of October 2018, my dad happens to die rather unexpectedly.

There I found myself, catching a flight to Belgium, on my last way through the gates.

Receiving another phone call from my brother to tell me our dad just passed away.

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I flew to Belgium and took the time a few hours later to say goodbye.

And I cried even more.

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You have no choice but to grow to a level to which you thought you couldn’t grow up.

You are left being pushed to move through that pain and fear of losing one of your parents.

The same goes for the dream of being happily married and raise a family together.

You see yourself left to move through that pain and fear of losing that family to be.

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Forever I will be appreciative of the father of my children, the road we walked together, and the true gift of our three daughters.

I am okay now to share with you this story that comes with this painting.

At that time I could not.

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I tried.

It were simply too many punches.

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Too many roller coasters regarding our marriage.

Obviously, I had no clue what would happen 10 days later after I decided on the title of the painting.

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Life just happened.

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My dad never received a picture of the final painting.

It lingers a bit he never saw it finished.

Somehow it’s comforting by thinking he must know.

Somehow.

Well, just because.

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Life just threw one proficient super-duper well-posed punch on top of that single punch I referred to at first.

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Despite this, what is my message I am inspired to tell you?

I want to tell you that people always will be resilient to what happens in life.

Even though you could feel for a very freaking long time you are not able at all to deal with that what happens in your life.

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For a long time, you can feel bitter or frustrated.

For a long time, you can feel left behind.

For a long time, you can feel you’ve missed out.

For a long time, you can experience fear or anger.

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I have huge respect for that.

We all have been there.

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I want you to know, you are simply not what happens to you.

You are not what happens to you in your life.

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To me, it’s about how you deal with those challenges while life happens.

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What do you do with the challenge after the first hit?

Are you considering moving on?

Hide or sleep for a few days and head forward?

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Do you prefer to grow?

When the pain has been too much, you will.

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When you don’t, do you stand still and decide to simply let it all diminish your light?

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Dear you, it’s truly you who gets to decide.

You get to decide about the shape while growing into a new version of yourself.

Yes, in the end regardless of the challenges.

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And the best is, you get to decide every single day again.

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I hope to inspire you with my story.

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For when life throws you one of its best possibilities to grow.

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Hug,

Sige