When life throws you one of its best punches

I am keen to share the story behind this artwork with you. Yet first: thank you for being here!

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I made this painting in August, September& October 2018.

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This was a period in my marriage as the deepest crisis ever.

We were still talking and did our very best to listen & understand one another.

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We tried to find possible solutions.

I was still convinced we would survive this deep storm in the end somehow.

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Though my reality was shaken upside down.

We both lacked clarity.

We were surviving.

And yes, I cried like crazy.

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Simultaneously I sent my father sketches of this artwork in process.

I shared versions of how I could move on with this painting.

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Sensing the outcome I felt, ‘Yes, that’s the way to move forward’.

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Some of you know my father has been a painter as well.

He used oil though and mostly drew models with charcoal.

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In October I knew the title had to be ‘When life throws you one of its best punches’. How appropriate. I also decided how to finish the painting.

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My father was processing health issues and I knew, he needed time for himself and simultaneously, I was processing things in my own life.

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Then at the end of October 2018, my dad passed away unexpectedly.

There I found myself, catching a flight to Belgium, on my last way through the gates. Receiving another phone call from my brother to tell me our dad just passed away.

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I flew to Belgium and took the time that day to say my father farewell.

And I cried even more.

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You have no choice but to grow to a level you thought you couldn’t grow.

You are left being pushed to move through that pain and fear of losing one of your parents.

The same goes for the dream of being happily married and raising a happy family together.

You see yourself left to move through that pain and fear of losing your family dream.

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Forever I appreciate the father of my children, the road we walked together, and the true gift of our three daughters.

For sure I am okay now to share this story about this painting with you.

At that time I could not.

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It was simply too many challenges.

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Too many roller coasters regarding our marriage and I had no clue what would happen 10 days later after I decided on the title of the painting.

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Life just happened and when you are in a big change: things come together.

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Sadly my dad never received a picture of the final painting.

It lingers a bit he never saw it finished.

Somehow it’s comforting to think he must know.

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Life at that time was just one proficient super-duper challenge of which only comes growth. I wasn’t a mentor at that time yet and was just figuring out things and making things work, very unconscious about how things in life work. Luckily that changed. This is partly one of the reasons why I do what I do now by mentoring people yearning for change.

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So what is the message I am inspired to tell you?

People always will be resilient to what happens in life. Being too strong isn’t a gift either. We have to learn when we have to let go. At that time I had to learn.

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For a long time, you can feel bitter or frustrated.

For a long time, you can feel left behind.

For a long time, you can feel you’ve missed out.

For a long time, you can experience fear or anger.

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I want you to know, you are simply not what happens to you.

You are not what happens to you in your life.

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It’s about how you deal with those challenges while life happens.

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What do you do with the challenge after the first hit?

Are you considering moving on?

Hide or sleep for a few days and head forward?

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Do you prefer to grow?

When the pain has been too much, you will.

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When you don’t, do you stand still and decide to let it diminish your light?

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Dear you, it’s truly you who gets to decide.

You get to decide about the shape while growing into a new version of yourself.

Yes, in the end regardless of the challenges.

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And the best is, that you get to decide every single day again.

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I hope to inspire you with my story.

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For when life throws you one of its best possibilities to grow.

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Hug,

Sige